


Fix you

by anusha



Series: Things we do in the dark [2]
Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff, Artist Steve Rogers, Broken Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Coldplay, Don't hate me if it is sad af, Drunk Bucky Barnes, Eating Disorders, Feels, Fluff, Guilt, Homophobia, I'm a terrible person, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Neck Kissing, Period-Typical Homophobia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Sad with a Happy Ending, Self-Hatred, Shameless Smut, Short Chapters, Smut, Steve Rogers Feels, Survivor Guilt, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touch-Starved, ear nibbling, sad af
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-25 19:57:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4974061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anusha/pseuds/anusha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bucky returns home to Steve for the first time ever since he's deployed, he looks normal and alright. But Steve soon realises that there is something wrong with his lover, and being the person he is, he tries his best to fix him him. Will he succeed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for Steve being innocent and trying his best to help his broken boyfriend xx

The very moment that Bucky realised what he had done, his entire facial cue changed. 

"Stevie, I didn't mean to..." 

He ran after Steve. He begged and begged as he tried to catch up with the younger man. He would have outrun Steve any time of day, but he was disoriented, his mind still blurred by the effects of strong, excessive alcohol. Steve quietly hid himself inside the cupboard, leaving the door slightly ajar to have peek of light to keep him company. 

Steve wasn't sure why he had ran away actually. He wasn't sue why was he hiding. Maybe because Bucky had hurt him, maybe it was because he never would have thought that someone as gentle and calm as the brunette would ever have done that. Perhaps it was the memory that reminded himself too much of watching his mother in pain, the same one that he did not expect himself to be in. 

_The only difference was that Bucky didn't mean it, his face showed remorse as he looked for Steve all over the house._

__"I'm sorry."_ he mumbled under his breath._


	2. Chapter 2

It was the knock on the old wooden door on a Sunday evening that made the eyes of Steven Grant Rogers glisten with tears of joy. The truth was, Steve did not expect to see him standing there, with that smirk on his face and his army cap neatly tucking his hair underneath it. 

He looked somewhat similar to what Steve remembered him to be. There were of course some slight differences that escaped the blonde’s eyes but none of that had mattered at that moment. All Steve could think of was grabbing the older man and to not let him go. 

_“Hey there, punk._ ” 

And to Steve, there wasn’t anything as sweet as hearing that deep, Brooklyn-accented voice after 12 months. Reading silenced words in the voice of his beloved in his head sounded nothing as close as to the real thing, he realised. 

The distance between them was reduced as Steve hugged James Buchanan Barnes, his thin frail arms wrapping around the uniformed waist while resting his head against Bucky’s chest. Bucky lowered his head, nuzzled it against the soft, neatly combed blonde hair. He positioned his arms around Steve’s neck. He could smell the light musk of Steve’s sweat, a scent that he took some time to recognise. 

“You’re home.” 

Steve didn’t hear a reply from the brunette when he said that, instead he could feel a smile forming against the nook of his hair. 

Slowly as Bucky lifted his head, his hand moved from Steve’s neck towards his delicate, flushed cheeks. Steve could feel the rough, calloused palms slowly grazing against his skin, giving it a gentle burn. They were rougher than what Steve had remembered, but he didn’t say anything. He opened his eyes, locked them with Bucky’s. 

“You’re beautiful, Stevie.” 

The blonde smiled, before moving his hands to meet those belonging to Bucky and slowly pulling them lower. Their fingers interlocked for a brief moment. 

“Come on, let’s go in. It’s freezing out here. Wouldn’t want you to catch a cold before we even start anything.” Bucky gave a small chuckle. Being inside the walls meant that he had the freedom to love. Bucky felt like he was being watched, but he didn’t say a word about it to Steve. You see, it’s not safe outside, not with prying eyes especially. 

_It’s Steve. It’s home. You’re safe here.”_ Bucky assured himself and looked back at the blonde. 

Steve smiled, shook his head and pulled the brunette gently inside with one hand. Little did Steve know that the man that he brought inside their home was not the same one that had been drafted a year earlier. 

~ 

Steve pushed the door open, letting himself inside before Bucky. There was a small green bag with Bucky, Steve assumed that it contained his belongings, stuff that he used while in the service. 

“Does it look like what you remember?” 

“I think so.” Bucky had let go of Steve’s hands as he came to a halt. “I’m gonna put these in the room.” 

“No, no, don’t go in there. The place is messed up, I hadn’t had the chance to clean up.” 

Bucky didn’t hear the end of Steve’s sentence. As the evening sky approached, Bucky rubbed his hands against the wall of their old room to find the switch. 

“On the right wall.” 

Bucky followed the instruction given out by Steve. “Oh, alright. Found it. It’s dark, couldn’t see.” 

_He couldn’t remember where the switch was actually._

Bucky placed the bag on the floor, beside the bed. He about to continue unpacking when something caught his eye. “You drew these?” 

Steve stood at the door, crossed his hands against his chest with, with a proud smile. “Yeah, whadaya think?” 

“Good. Comic book covers?” 

“I wanted to tell you about them but I was waiting for the right time. I wanted it to be a surprise.” 

Bucky pursed his lips together. His eyebrows furrowed. It was a look of disappointment, one that Steve had noticed. He placed the papers gently back on the working table, before resting his weight on the bed. 

Steve watched the older man unpack, his eyes scanning the things that Bucky had taken out from the bag carefully and placed on the floor. There were some disposable razors, a comb and a bottle of recently opened hair product. There were still some other things in the bag that Steve didn’t actually notice. He was rather fixated at the handsome brunette in front of him. 

_Probably got them before heading back._ Steve assumed. It was usual of Bucky to dress himself up. Especially if he had a date or if he was going to an important event. 

He reminded Steve of his old man, Joseph Rogers, a lot. Even watching Bucky coming back reminded him a little bit of his father. He remembers his mom kissing him at the doorway when ol’man Joe came back. He remembers how he hugged his dad’s leg before being carried by him. His dad had planted a kiss on his forehead before saying, “Have you been taking care of mommy for me?” He remembers nodding yes and being brought back into the comforts of their home. He remembers the family dinner that they had. It had been a long time since all of them sat down together as a family. 

But, that was a long time ago. _Remember only the good things,_ Steve tells himself. 

_“I still have all your letters with me, kid.”_ The memory of it remained as crisp as ever in his mind. 

The harder Steve tries to forget, the more he remembers. Steve turned his head away from Bucky. There was a slight fear in his eye, hiding his expression from the older man seated in front of him. 

_I shouldn’t be doing this now, not in front of Bucky._

“I’m going to the kitchen, gonna whip something up for the both of us.” 

“I thought we could go out, ya know? Somewhere nice. You know, just like we used to, when payday comes?” Bucky didn’t look up, he was still busy trying to sort out his stuff. 

Steve replied with an okay, his head still turned away. He walked slowly out of the room, his hand placed over his eyes. 

It took a while before Bucky had realised that Steve was no longer standing in the same place that he was earlier. “Hey. What’s wrong?” 

“No, its nothing.” 

“You look like you’re having a headache.” 

“I-I’m just glad to see you.” 

“Me too. But I’m also hungry as fuck.” 

“Language, Bucky. It’s like you go to war and you come out like a whole different person.” Steve replied. Bucky just smiled while gently nodding his head. There was something about that light hearted comment that was somewhat frightening to the brunette. 

_“Yeah.”_


End file.
